Can We Talk?

Are there scarier words? Maybe, but when your three year old says them, it is next to impossible to keep a straight face. Today, while Shan was grilling lunch, Jo sat in her lawn chair on the deck with him. She needed to talk to him about important things.

Jo: Daddy did you know that trees need water?
Daddy: That's right! (Remember Daddy is a science teacher, and amateur forrester)
Jo: But not too much water or they will die.
Okay kiddo, whatever you say.

Jo: Daddy, I am coloring this picture with this color.
Okay
Jo: Daddy, I need to talk to you some more.

and on and on.

Tonight, she fell out of bed and bumped her chin. She came downstairs to tell us about it. She wasn't crying so I would imagine it was a minor ailment. She asked me as I sent her back upstairs,...
Jo: Mama, in the morning can we talk about it?

Me: Sure Jo, now get to bed.

She is definitely my child. OY!

I Don't Get It

Why is Paris Hilton famous? I know there are lots of rich people out there whose names I do not know. Why do I have to see her on the news, or whatever passes for it these days. Also, why do I care that she is in jail? Just FYI, I don't. She is even farther down the totem pole of importance for me than actors whose work I like. Who cares? Not me.

A New Love

I love my Jeep. I have driven it for over 10 years and put 135K of its 165K on the car. I didn't care that the air conditioning system leaked freon and had to be recharged every year. I didn't care that it had a tiny oil leak these last couple of years. I put up with the tape deck making that screechy noise when it played. It was a minor inconvenience when the window control for the rear right side became temperamental and would lock up whenever Jo had tried it, until she did it again and unfroze it. I was even prepared to put in a new radio last month when the current one stopped playing FM stations. Besides, I have that phone that works like an mp3 player so I used it. But the last straw, so to speak, broke the camels back when the oil leak got drastically worse last week. I had started early in the year preparing myself for trading it in on a new car. It was hard to go anywhere with more than just our two kids, it was loud to ride in, and vibrated. Each day I kinda was relieved when it started and got me places. The tires are 4 years old so I knew I wasn't putting new ones on it. It's just that the Jeep was the first major purchase of our married life. We bought a truck right before we got married, but it was a pittance, compared to a two year old Jeep Grand Cherokee. I remember feeling so privileged to drive such a fancy car. My previous car had been an '85 Honda Accord Hatchback with carburetor problems. I remember when we bought it, we thought we would drive it for a long time. I was looking at 10 years I hoped. Once we had Je, and I realized how much room car seats take up, I was thinking that we might need to trade it off before we had child three, but maybe we could squeak by until the fourth if we waited for three long enough to get Je out of a car seat. Now we know that they have changed the law, and Je is in a booster for another two years. We also know that we may never get to a third or fourth child, we probably won't biologically get there unless God over rides a vasectomy. But it was time to let go of my first car love. (Actually, my first car love was my Volvo Diesel, I called him Sherman, but my Dad sold him when the engine block had microscopic cracks in in and got me the Honda, not a car love at all with that one) I have joined the ranks of the Mini-Van Moms
Isn't it pretty? This is just a picture of a Kia Sedona that I found online, but it is the right make, model and color. We got it Tuesday night, so that night, I was just kinda dazy. We'd spent the day checking out cars and working details. We drug the kids along and they did great until about 6:30. Which was just when we were cutting the deal. I was ready to have the whole process over with. We had test driven this one right before lunch, and when we indicated that we weren't ready to commit to it, they pushed us to take it for the afternoon to try it out. Since I really liked it, but wasn't ready to buy it, we agreed to try it. When I casually mentioned that we liked to sleep on big decisions, they offered to let us have it overnight. As we discussed the car over lunch, Shan and I really felt like this was the right car, if the numbers worked out. We ran over to Lawrence to pick up part of our down payment, and stopped to see my sister. On the way back to town, I felt like this was the right decision, and that God was leading me to this one. I also knew that if I left it to morning, I wouldn't sleep. So we stopped back by the dealer for some number crunching. I got on the phone with Mom between salesman visits, and got some good advice. I was tired and ready to get out of there, so I went back to the table, gave him my bottom line, deal-breaker offer, and said if he met my price and put the key less entry in, then I would deal tonight, if not, I am going home. He came back about 10 minutes later, and I have a new mini-van. Last night I slept well so feel good about our decision. That is always my fleece, sleep well, good decision, no sleep, bad decision. So now I am totally excited about my new wheels. Second (or third) car love is pretty good too!

Sadness and Relief

For the last several months we have been taking care of a baby for a friend who was working for a few months before beginning stay and home motherdom. Today is our last day with baby J, his mother has worked out her two weeks notice and will now be a full time mama. I am happy for her, but in some ways we will miss the little guy. I won't miss the early arrival time, the screaming baby times, the inconvenience of the baby carrier etc. I always thought I would have at least four children. Right up until I spent a week in the hospital after Jo was born, a week I barely remember and was life-threatening enough to send my husband to the urologist to prevent future episodes of pre-eclampsia. We are and have considered adoption, and since we have done the baby thing twice, I am quite content to adopt older children. I would want to wait a little before we do that so my girls are a little older so we still are in the research and prayer stage. J is a pretty good baby, but he is a baby, so that means he doesn't communicate very well. I have to guess which of the many discomforts he is experiencing, hunger, diaper, boredom, tiredness, pain, etc. I won't miss that. I will miss the cuddling, and the way he stays put when I put him down. Although since he recently learned to roll over, moving is far away. His mother is quitting to stay home at just the right time. He is awake more so that will be fun for her. I am sad in some ways to loose J, and the small income from watching him, but mostly I will be glad to have my schedule back to normal and less difficult manuever about.

Compliments and Success

I've been in an emotional place recently. Success at VBS despite chaos and crisis has left me feeling good and relief that it is over for another year. I told my co-director that the job is probably ours until we say no. I don't want to brag about prowess or claim credit when the credit is the Lord's. We are good at this. We have complimentary strengths and work well together. This was B's third year planning VBS, the first she did it alone. I was assigned to help with the preschoolers, including Je. The week before VBS that year, I was talking with the woman in charge of decorating, and she said she had arranged to borrow several decorations from another church. I volunteered to go with her to get them since I had a vehicle with a trailer hitch and access to a trailer to haul the several ranch themed decorations. As we decorated the church that weekend with our borrowed items and many that we had provided from our stock of ranch themed ideas, I made the comment that I wasn't even on the decorating committee, why was everyone asking me where to put stuff. B said "You are the decorating committee." The woman who had arranged to get the decorations hadn't been able to make it that day to set up so I was by default in charge. I loved that aspect of it. I was contributing to VBS in an important way, and yet I was behind the scenes, invisible unless you knew. That is kinda how I view my role the last two years as co-director. My name is out there as director, but B is the one who is the visible face of VBS. She makes the announcements and leads the meetings. I give her lists, run the errands, do the research, make the copies, etc. We get together and go over things, make decisions and assign tasks. We share the credit. Saturday, as we finished up the clean up she said she feels like I do the work and she bosses. I don't think I explained it very well when I disagreed. I think I need her to do the bossing and I need to do the work. I told someone that I am the feet of the operation and she is the brain. Not to say that I don't think or have ideas, I do, but I am really good at carrying out the ideas she has. Implementation strength. And I think God put us as a team because we have these complementary strengths. He is glorified when we use our gifts in His service. When 47 children attend VBS in our church which has 15 children birth to high school, that is amazing. May the Lord be praised. When it takes 30+ adults to pull off VBS and they graciously offered their time and talents to this effort, PTL. B and I put in hours and effort, and ideas, but the success is because of Him. He blesses those contributions and we have only obeyed Him when we give service to Him.

Trouble Piles On

I've learned that when one thing doesn't go right, several other things will follow suit. I've made it through most of the Bible School frenzy so far. I was even feeling good that I have slept each night. (Benedryl induced but who cares, it's sleep). Right now it is 2 am and the Benedryl failed. I can't take anymore if I want to wake up at a decent hour in the morning. Tonight we nearly had a catastrophe at VBS. Several crucial people didn't show up. The people scheduled to herd the preschool group through the stations, didn't come. One was home sick, one had a sick child, one's grandfather died suddenly. I grabbed people from wherever I could, my co-director went along, and my mother canceled her plans to guide the little darlins' around. The person in charge of the Launch Lab, a science/discovery activity is married to the one whose grandfather died, so he also bailed on me at the last minute. We pressed Shan into service, and muddled through his other responsiblities as best we could. There was a church softball double header tonight and that called away a couple more of my helpers. I thought my head would explode. The night came off pretty well. I doubt the kids even noticed. We even got several of the things ready for tomorrow night's big closing activites, I was just stressed out.
I was packing up to leave, and was talking to my codirector about Sabbath School stuff, when she said: "Aren't we going to Sonic?" I had completely forgotten tonight was free Rootbeer Float night. I hollered for Shan to hurry up so I could get a comfort food. Pop and ice cream are an unbeatable pick me up! One more night then the cleanup. Maybe I can sleep after its all over.

Netflix Contest

Check on this contest from Five Minutes for Mom. I need new movies don't you?

Works for Me Wednesday I'm Bored Edition

Since my girls haven't started school yet, I have to come up with activities all year round to counteract the "I don't know what to do" blues. I am a compulsive clearance shopper. I hit the back aisle of Dillon's often to see what they are closing out at bargain prices. I can probably direct you to the clearance aisle of most of our major stores. I love Big Lots, Tuesday Morning and other similar discount places. When I find a bargain, I stock up. After New Year's a couple years ago, Dillon's cleared out their party supplies. One of the things was a light up star wand. They were patriotic colors and when you turned on the switch the lights flashed red white and blue. They were marked to ten cents a piece, so I bought $2 or $3 worth. Or at back to school time I will buy boxes of crayons for a quarter, markers for a dollar a package, glue and paper. Stickers are also a big hit and you can find them cheap. I also use the tons of free mailing labels companies and charities send soliciting money.

Whenever my kids get bored or restless, I go into the closet stockpile of toys or colors and pull out a new item. The newness lasts for days of fun.

Another good idea is videos from the library. They are free to check out and then you have a new movie without spending money. Our library lets you have some of them for up to three weeks and doesn't charge late fees.

Check into a family zoo pass. We buy one every year for less than $40 and go whenever we want.

Sometimes I suggest a trip to the grocery store. It breaks up the monotony and we get needed things.

Our shopping mall has a kids play area and the girls love to play in there.

In the summer in Kansas, it gets very hot. August is often too hot to play outside, but inside the kids don't get much exercise. We rescued one of those mini trampolines from our neighbor's trash. It was in good shape so we brought it inside and let the kids jump around on it. I put it away periodically and pull it out whenever they are getting restless. I rotate the toys in the toy box, too. Last week, they were in the storage room and found the big chest with the toys I had put away for awhile. They have been playing with them all week. Yesterday, they "discovered" the toys in the toy box in the family room. Some they hadn't played with in weeks. An old toy forgotten is a new toy again. Works for Me.

I am so Immature

A couple months ago, my MIL asked if I remembered a couple years ago, when the girls spent a few extra days with them without us. She wanted to do that again. Come on, twist my arm. I guess you can have the kids. (Whoopee!) So Tuesday we met the in-laws in Hays and sent the kids home with them, returning to our home quietly, without the "are we there yet?" whine. My husband talked to his mother the next day and their trip home wasn't as quiet. They ran into a thunderstorm, complete with big lightening, loud thunder, and hail. At one point they had to pull over and got stuck. My FIL had tried to manuever the van a bit too much and got mired in the mud at the side of the road. They had to wait an hour and a half for someone to push them out of the ditch. As a mother, I am sympathetic and concerned for the girls. This is so typical of the men in my life that I feel compelled to laugh. I also feel a little bit like a fifth grader, who wants to laugh behind my hand because it happened to someone besides me. Picture riding in a car with Jo with lightening and thunder crashing above. Jo hates thunder, she hates all loud noises. They are too much competition, I think. She wails at loud noises and covers her ears. The sound of a public, industrial strength toilet is too loud for her. I understand she suggested that they turn around and go back to get out of the storm. I have to laugh at this. It is so very much just like the girl. And I missed the frustration of dealing with her particularly strong will, when trying to get somewhere under less than ideal conditions. I should probably feel bad for the girls and their grandparents. Instead, I miss the girls and will be glad to see them later today but, I have gotten so much done for Bible School this week that I am just feeling pretty good about life. That and the house is pretty neat, no one has trashed it recently.

Gifts

On Sabbath, Pastor Joe preached on Romans 12 as part of his series from that chapter. As a side note, it is my absolute favorite chapter in the Bible. I memorized it as a teenager, under duress. I didn't hold that against it though and have come to have a great appreciation for the practical chapter.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (Romans 12: 6-8)

One of the things that stuck out to me was that we cannot use our gifts as excuses for inaction. We are called to love the Lord through our actions in the body, and each part of the body has a vital function. We should encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ to use their gifts, and always be wise stewards of the resources of the church. This is just the financial resources, but the physical resouces as well. If there is a skilled accountant in the church who is good at managing money, he or she would be a good canidate for managing the church finances. At least more so than the person (like me) who hates to balance my personal checkbook and isn't great at it.

I got to thinking about my gifts. It's not that I think I am not gifted, its just that I see many people who have the same gifts I do, and in a greater amount. I work in the church in many capacities, Christian Ed Committee, VBS Co-director, Social Committee, Nursery committee, help with juniors, calendar/newsletter, congregational secretary...so I am using my gifts. (It is a small church, which like a small town needs everyone to contribute) I just wouldn't say that the things I do couldn't be done by others and maybe better. I would say my gift is willingness. I am willing to be used in whatever capacity is needed. I have energy and a flexible schedule. It is as crowded as anyone else's schedule, it just has few time constraints than working people, at least now when the girls aren't in school.

Monday's episode of 7th Heaven, "Charity Begins at Home", begins with Reverend Camden preaching a sermon encouraging his congregation to use their gifts in service to at least one person, on a personal level. I thought it dovetailed nicely with my musings this week. It is an old episode, rerun on ABC Family each weeknight at 5. It never ceases to amaze me how God puts several hits on the same message before me at the same time. The point of the episode was to show that we should use our gifts in service to others and not just in a global or broad sense but on a personal individual level. My mom would have loved it. She is queen of the personal ministry. Can you take a meal to a lonely person or spend an hour visiting? Can you give a ride to a person who is without transportation. Make a phone call to a person who is having a rough week? Do a load of laundry for someone with a new baby or a broken washer? Take the kids for an afternoon or evening to let some busy parents have a break? Write a short note to someone who has meant something to you? It doesn't have to be a big time committment, it just needs to be something.

Go out and love the Lord through what you do today.

By Popular Demand

My sister had one complaint about this blog. I don't post often enough for her. I am guessing she is anxious for updates about the girls. I doubt however, that she will read this post for at least a week because she is headed to Florida for a week to pack up her house and move it to Texas, where she and BIL have been living for a couple months, since the Navy transferred him. My mom is going to help her so perhaps prayers for patience would be in order.

I will have to share pictures of Jo's hair cut. She. Cut. Out. Her. Barrettes. Yeah. The only really workable hairstyle is piggy tails. It's pretty bad.
Can you see the short feathery hair on the left side? She was pretty proud of herself until she realized Mama was not so happy.
"Jo, did you cut your hair?!!!" I asked horrified but the hair on the floor and the barrette in the bathroom, hair still clipped in it.

"Yes," she mumbled downcast. "I'm sorry that I did that" Really. Okay, well at least it gave her a career idea. She thinks she wants to be a painter and a barber now. She is really looking forward to preschool because she will get to paint there. Je painted a lot of pictures and Jo is anxious to do so too. I suppose barbers can make a good living. After my conversation about hair stylists today with my sisters, I think I will tell her to do that in Lawrence. It is more expensive than here.

I Won!

Forgive me for the self involved title but I so rarely win anything that I am a little crazy. I stuck by the Wildcats through I can't even tell you how many losing seasons and then football got good. I still am with the purple teams now that they have been struggling. I was always a Royals fan, I vividly remember the '85 series and the twenty plus seasons of drought since then. Seriously. My college roommate is from St. Louis. She is a Cardinal's fan. We had to agree to disagree. I seem to pick the teams that used to be great, or are great but not as great as the more popular team in the group I am with. So when I clicked over to Parent Blogger Network and it said that the winner of the $100 Spa Finder Gift Card was my entry I was so thrilled I can't even tell you. Yea Me! I now will return you to less bragger blogging.

Real Moms Have Messy Rooms

My room is usually a disaster. I watched my kids fall backwards on the bed in their new cowgirl hats and thought what a great picture! After I took it I noticed all the crap on the bed and the closet with the doors waiting to be replaced. Recently my mom, my biggest critic and one of my closest friends, told me that I didn't have a gift for housekeeping. No Joke. She tempered this criticism by telling me I do have a gift for mothering. I am doing something right! I'd rather be a good mother than have a clean house anyday.

"Enter the Real Mom Truths contest! The winner will receive this amazing 4G iPod Nano and Chocolate gift set, plus a link to their post on True Mom Confessions on Mother's Day. Today is the last day to enter. Go here to get info. You can win thisCheck out the true confessions of moms at this site. It'll make you think.

What Makes Me a Mother

They say biology makes a father but it takes a special heart to be a Daddy. Does motherhood work that way. Probably, but not to the same degree. I am a Mama because my three year old said so. My five year old needs to cuddle when her feelings are hurt, she has an owie or she is overcome with joy. Who does she look to then? Her mama. It amazes me that my patience (or lack thereof) was well documented before the kids were born. Shan was always the patient one, but now it seems I have a new reserve for all those annoying kid things. Jo asking the same question over and over again at the top volume she is capable of. BTW that is a loud level. It doesn't matter how you got the kids you have, adoption, foster, medical help or naturally, if you are responsible for these people you are a mother. It is endless hours of fixing food, answering questions, washing laundry and dirty faces. It is worrying, praying, and exhausting. It is the best job and sometimes the worst job in the world.

This is part of the What Makes a Mother contest sponsored by Parent Blogger Network and LightIris

WFMW Birthday Edition

When I first heard that Rocks in My Dryer was doing a birthday edition of Works for Me Wednesday, I didn't think I had any good birthday ideas, except get my sister to make the cake because she makes really interesting cakes for the kids birthdays. They are really cool looking and are fun. She makes some odd recipes for the cake part and sometimes they don't seem all that kid friendly. What happened to chocolate and white as kid birthday staples? I digress. As I thought more, I realized that I have a very inexpensive way to get gifts for those parties the kids are invited to. We have a great dollar store in town, Deals. It is a chain I think. When we have to find a gift for a birthday, I take the girls in there. The get to pick out several fun things for the special person and I put them in a gift bag. For younger kids, sometimes the number of gifts is the big deal rather than the money spent, and Deals has some nice things for a dollar a piece. I can usually find some really nice toys and trinkets for between $5 and $10. If the party has a theme, I will try to get gifts around the theme or add a small theme related item to the stash. Last time, Je was invited to a party for a boy in her preschool class that we don't know very well. I think the whole class was invited. One of Je's friends is the boy's aunt (dad was married before) and Je wanted to go see her friend at the party. The day before we made a trip to Deals, and bought a car, ball, an action figure, and a plane kit. I added a book I found based on the movie Cars, the party's theme, and the whole thing was pretty economical yet fun. This is especially good when you don't know the child very well and don't know what would be a great gift, and when you want to be thrifty. It works for me.

I'm Busy, Busy, Frightfully Busy, You've No Idea What I have to do!

I've learned that I need to get new dressy summer shoes. My feet almost have forgiven me for the shoes I wore on Sunday but not completely. I had to get a leg and foot massage from Shan last night so I could sleep. I wanted one on Sunday night but couldn't summon the energy to go down three sets of stairs to find him and ask. The cell phones weren't handy either to call to him down three flights. I had a day on Sunday. Saturday, too getting ready for Sunday. It is a brief lull now before the ramp up to Bible School next month. Saturday, I got the food and other things ready for lunch at church and Menninger's graduation ceremony. I also had to send food out to the Manhattan group for their Sunday evening get together. I also took the kids to the zoo on Saturday, because they were having a special thing at the hippo exibit. Jo likes hippos. On the way home from the zoo, I got the last of the stuff for Sunday's taco bar at church. We hosted the Manhattan group so I had to plan for an extra 20-25 people. I snuck out of lunch early to make my way downtown to the church we use to host the Menninger Bible Program graduation. This year we had 20 graduates complete the four year course through the Bible. It is quite an accomplishment. So we I got home at five on Sunday I was exhausted. I left the house at nine that morning to get to church so I could get things ready for the lunch, and still teach Sunday school. There were several extra people in our class, including the pastor and his wife who are working in Manhattan right now. I love them and they are great but with all the visitors in the class it was a little bit of pressure. Class, lunch and graduation were all a success. We had so many leftovers that we will do taco lunch again next month, we stuck everything in the freezer. After typing this all I think I need a nap.

Fashion Issues

I've learned that fashion designers have their heads up their butts. I went shopping in KC with a friend this weekend. We went to get Bible School supplies at this great store over there but she said we couldn't go to KC without going to Nordstrom's shoe department at Oak Park. Okay, twist my arm. We looked around at the clothes there and I was suprised to see all these empire waisted tops with full skirty things. The shirts mostly looked like maternity wear. On the flip side, I saw these pregnant women with tight stretchy shirts that proudly proclaim the baby bulge. It's like the world is turned upside down. When not pregnant clothes are loose and flowy with lots of room for a blossoming bump but pregnant clothes are shrinking so as to look like regular clothes stretched and pulled over said bump. What is up with that. Please don't think I am suggesting to pregnant women that they should wear clothing that hides the baby bump or is huge and flowy. Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing. However, who wants to wear those empire wasted tops that are similar in cut to what my three year old wears. There is a difference between youthful and childish. Sheesh!

Works for Me Wednesday Cleaning Curtains

I am not a religious cleaner but when I do my bi-annual window cleaning, I do the curtains too. I take them off the rod and run them through the dryer for 10-15 minutes with a Bounce dryer sheet. I have used the housebrand in a pinch but the more expensive kind really works better. I rehang the curtains while they are still warm from the dryer. They are dust and wrinkle free. I have mostly valances and toppers but my mom has rental houses and has used it with drapes and sheers. The tumbling heat gets out the dust and wrinkles and the dryer sheet gets the odors. With some of her houses, renters have violated the no smoking no pets policies, and unless the smell is really bad the Bounce takes care of it. My home doesn't have those odors, but the dryer sheet smells good and freshens up dusty window dressings. It works for me.

Isn't that the truth

Today's Family Circus is scarily true of our society.

The comic shows the mom showing Dolly a Crucifix, and the caption is "I like seeing Jesus in the manger better."

Don't we sometimes like the Christmas Jesus more than the Easter Jesus. We don't want to think about His sacrifice and pain on our behalf.

Three Year Old Logic

"JE put me in there, but she was wrong, I was right" --JO

"Why were you right?" Me

"Because she was wrong"--JO


That makes sense when you are three, I guess.