Friday, April 21, 2006
I was driving today and the girls were chatting in the back and Je noticed something out the window. She said, "That green and black jeep is like yours Mama." (It was a Jeep Wrangler not a Grand Cherokee but it was a jeep and it was green) It started me thinking about something my sister said to me a few weeks ago when I was holding my new nephew. She asked me if holding a brand new baby made me want another one. And it didn't. I want more children but I don't miss the infant stage. My girls cuddle and want to be comforted when things go wrong, but they are walking and talking. They tell me in words what is on their minds and while there are days that I want some peace and quiet for the most part I like to listen to their thoughts and I just enjoy spending time with them. I don't miss the months of sleepless nights, bottles, diapers and guessing at what is wrong with this small person. I definitely don't miss hauling that baby car seat everywhere. Now don't get me wrong, I love babies and if God overrode the vasectomy and we had another baby I would weep with joy. I would have two or three more if it weren't for the difficulties with my health during pregnancy. But I enjoy each new stage my kids go through and it wouldn't be a disappointment to adopt older children rather than infants. When my sister asked me if I was longing for an infant I felt good that I could say not really. The first year of my girls lives was the hardest so far. A friend once made some comment about the girls and I responded offhandedly that we were having fun with them. She replied with one of the nicest things I've ever been told, "You always look like you are enjoying your children" I have thought a lot about that and often have thanked God for her encouragement that day. We were at church camp when Jo was 11 months and Je was not quite three. I was stressed out with the logistics of waiting in line to eat, disrupted nap times, keeping the girls quiet in meetings and a long car ride to the camp etc. Mom's don't get vacations, we take our jobs with us. So that comment stands out as a great example of someone whose been there saying a word of encouragement to someone new to the role. But I honestly believe that if you don't enjoy your children that is a sad thing. They teach me something new all the time and though I am tired, busy, and occasionally wish for a stage to pass, I am never bored with my life. A woman I worked with said she could never be a stay-at-home mom because she would be bored inside a week. I am sure there are people like that out there but I don't know a single stay-at-home mom who actually stays at home all that much, nor are they bored. Children are too much fun. Each stage is something new and wonderful to experience with them and the littlest things are a big deal. My girls were jumping for joy just to go to this Mexican restaurant for lunch. You would have thought it was Christmas that's how excited they were to go out to lunch with Nana. The love rice. That is what makes my life interesting, seeing them grow and change.